Thursday, April 19, 2012

Keeping Love Embers Warm

Keeping Love Embers Warm

If you're planning you're honeymoon right about now you may be thinking about an exciting, fun and deeply romantic vacation get-away as a good jump-start to married life after the honeymoon. Perhaps, but that depends on how soon the bonding process begins and when both partners acknowledge the need to share common standards and principles in the relationship. This can take some time as important issues often aren't dealt with until the unforeseen test occurs. Still who wants to wait? 
So how do you start the flame and keep the embers burning months and years after the honeymoon? Is there a spark that ignites a fire that melts the very heart of your partner so deeply that even when cooled by stormy weather there stands a strong bond in the very core that is virtually inextinguishable?
Too often couples get so caught up in their jobs, careers and past-times, like all engrossing sports, bands and clubs of the day that they begin to see their spouse as someone who is getting in the way of their fun and begin spending less meaningful moments with the love of their life. This can happen to anyone. At first it's just a casual oversight. But over time hearts break, silence becomes the loudest spoken word and the two drift apart emotionally and spiritually.

Do More Than Compromise
This past Sunday we talked to a very special couple married for over five years. He's contending with a new job and new congregation responsibilities that sometimes leaves them both a bit overwhelmed. That said, we reminded them both to prioritize each other and asked them both to consider this... When they come together for fun, do more than just compromise! Spend time doing things that they both enjoy doing together instead.

Schedule a Date Night 
Ask any truly happy couple what kept them together and they'll tell you that they're still dating. They eat together. Listen to music together, joke and tell stories together. Dance together. But the key to making date night work is not just doing something together as some activities can actually drive a couple apart. So what's the key to an enjoyable date night?

"A Few of Our Favorite Things."
Sometimes we are too tired to think about what we have in common and we settle for what ever comes to mind for a date night activity. We all love the musical called "The Sound of Music." Particularly the part we fondly call "My Favorite Things." It was that moment in time that the family bonded. So it is with a young couple. Everyone likes to eat. Everyone likes music. Most like movies. On date night, share a favorite dessert you both enjoy. Watch a movie you both will like. Select music that has meaning to both of you. If you're at a loss as to what to do this would be a good time to consult the "favorite things list."

Just Released Fimark's My Keepsake Wedding Planner

In our newly written book "Fimark's My Keepsake Wedding Planner" Brenda and I have dedicated 10 pages to this subject including a keepsake list called "A Few of Our Favorite Things." It's a keepsake checklist of the things the couple has in common.
Many years ago Brenda and I were at a cross road in our relationship. We took the time to write out a list of entertainment, literature, music and activities we both enjoyed doing together. We were amazed as we discovered that we had more in common that we ever realized.
Discovering the things both enjoy doing together in the area of music, books, movies, sports, food, etc is something we've learned a couple cannot do without. Our book "Fimark's My Keepsake Wedding Planner" is now available at

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